The 7 Stages of Grief When the Bill Arrives

1. Denial

“It can’t be that much. We only had a few starters.” (Narrator: You had 4 bottles of wine and the Chateaubriand).

2. Shock

The waiter places the little leather booklet on the table. Someone opens it. A sharp intake of breath. “£450?! Did they charge us for the table?”

3. Bargaining

“Okay, if I pay for the wine, and you pay for the food, but Dave pays for the service charge because he flirted with the waitress…” Mental gymnastics begin. Napkins are scribbled on.

4. Anger

“Who ordered the £12 sparkling water? Seriously? Tap wasn’t good enough for you?” Friendships are tested. Side-eyes are exchanged.

5. Panic

“I forgot my wallet.” “My Monzo is frozen.” “Does this place take Amex?”

6. Depression

You tap your card. The machine beeps. You see your bank balance notification. “Goodbye, savings. Hello, beans on toast for the rest of the month.”

7. Acceptance (The Halfsy Way)

You snap a photo of the receipt. The app assigns everyone their items. You pay exactly what you owe (£24.50). You leave happy. There is a better way. Skip the grief. Use Halfsy.