The 5 Types of Friends You Should Never Lend Money To

The Golden Rule of Lending

“Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” Shakespeare wrote that 400 years ago, and honestly? He was onto something. Lending money to friends is the fastest way to turn a friendship into a transaction.

But if you must lend money, avoid these five archetypes at all costs.

1. The “I’ll Get You Next Time” Ghost

The Profile: They never have their wallet. Their banking app is “down.” They promise to pay for the next round/dinner/taxi to make up for it. The Risk: “Next time” never comes. Or if it does, they buy a round of cheap shots to cover the £40 steak you bought them. The Fix: Don’t accept “next time.” Request the money immediately via Halfsy or Monzo.

2. The “Big Ideas” Entrepreneur

The Profile: Always has a “guaranteed” investment opportunity or a startup idea that just needs £500 to get off the ground. The Risk: You aren’t lending money; you are an angel investor in a failing business. When the business fails (it will), your money is gone. The Fix: Support their dream with encouragement, not cash.

3. The “Selective Amnesiac”

The Profile: They remember every detail of the night out—the jokes, the gossip, the food—except the part where you paid for it. The Risk: You have to constantly remind them, making you feel like a debt collector. The Fix: Send the request while you are still at the table. Make the memory impossible to lose.

4. The “Lifestyle Inflator”

The Profile: They owe you £50, yet you see them on Instagram Stories at a bottomless brunch or buying new trainers. The Risk: It’s infuriating. You are effectively subsidizing their luxury lifestyle while you scrimp to cover the loss. The Fix: Never lend to someone who spends more than you.

5. The “Defensive Victim”

The Profile: When you ask for the money back, they get angry. “God, relax, it’s only £20! Do you think I’m going to steal it?” The Risk: They gaslight you into thinking you are the bad guy for wanting your own money back. The Fix: Cut your losses. The £20 is the price of learning they aren’t a good friend.

Summary

If you spot these traits, keep your wallet closed. True friends respect your money as much as they respect you.